Do you only see your in-laws on holidays? Or is the vacation just super stressful? Check out our tips for dealing with in-laws on festive occasions. Fred and Rick were in a pub. Fred said to his boyfriend, “My mother-in-law is an angel.” There can often be a strange and subliminal feeling of competition between you and your partner`s mother. You raised her and knew her then, but chances are you`re the most important person in your partner`s life now. Nod to the fact that your mother-in-law was there from the beginning by asking about your partner`s childhood, looking at old photos, and maybe even sharing embarrassing stories about your partner. It`s a good way to show that you understand how important their relationship and story are, which can go a long way. An arrogant mother-in-law is someone who is very critical, self-righteous and demanding. She will do everything possible to ensure that she remains the center of attention, even if you have tried to set healthy boundaries to avoid conflict. Managing their behavior can be difficult, but by maintaining your self-esteem, a strong relationship with your partner, and patience, you can find ways to overcome the growing frustration. Sometimes isolation is preferable to interacting with an arrogant mother-in-law.
Because of their blatant mistreatment of you, you can start avoiding interactions with her at all costs. Unfortunately, isolation can further complicate your relationship with your partner, alienate you from other family members, and worsen symptoms of depression. An arrogant mother-in-law may show up unexpectedly or invite herself to meetings and activities. He can do this to foment opportunities, criticize and assert his superiority. This is often done under the guise of their “concern for your family.” This will show him how much you respect and appreciate his opinion. It will really make her feel that you appreciate her statement, and there is nothing better for a mother-in-law than knowing that her future daughter-in-law actually wants to know her opinion on important things. Even if you can`t stand them a little, it still doesn`t give you an excuse to be mean or unpleasant in any way. She`s your partner`s mother, you can`t escape her, so it`s best to put on your friendly face and act like you love her. I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud`s Chamber of Horrors and one of the servants told me: There is no “right” way to have a relationship with your mother-in-law. You may have figured it out from the beginning, or you`ll find that you never really break through and become friends. It doesn`t matter.
You don`t have to get stuck on your hip, but there`s always room to bond with your mother-in-law and strengthen your relationship. Having a good relationship (even if it`s not close) will make your life easier, as well as that of your mother-in-law, partner, and everyone else in the family. Fortunately, there are many ways to communicate with her. Some aim to promote emotional intimacy, others to spend time together. Someone who is domineering tends to have exaggerated self-confidence and can express it by adopting a “my lane or highway” attitude. A mother-in-law with this mentality will insist that she is always right and that you should follow her advice without question. Sometimes you have to laugh not to cry, right? So if your NDE leads you to the wall, take a break and read funny jokes about mothers-in-law. When you see the strange perspectives of others on the same situation, you will remember that you are not alone with your frustrations. Here are some of our favorites: For example, although she almost never says anything about it, I know that my mother-in-law wants my children to be dressed in more classic children`s clothes. Corduroy sweaters, tasteful dresses, etc.
And to be honest, that`s what I want them to wear. But that`s not what my daughters like. The big one wants to be more fashionable; The little one prefers glitter, glitter and bright colors. If you really struggle to make small talk with your mother-in-law, plays or movies can save your life. It`s a way to spend time in the same room and experience something together, while keeping conversations to a minimum – after all, you spend most of your time sitting in silence and observing something. After that, you have a simple topic of discussion: the plot of the series! Remind each other that you are both part of the same team. Discuss topics together in advance and form a united front. Make it your priority to go with him – rather than going against them. We understand: an arrogant mother-in-law may give the impression that you would rather have your eyelashes pulled out of your head with chopsticks than have another visit from her. So here are some tips to help you navigate this awkward relationship, survive family gatherings, and most importantly, keep your sanity. Being constantly criticized by an arrogant mother-in-law can lead to the development of perfectionist tendencies. Unfortunately, your mother-in-law probably won`t recognize your efforts, even if you`ve lived up to the expectations she set before.
Once things get serious and the honeymoon phase calms down, you may even notice that you have a mother-in-law who is not so pleasant. They might even be the lucky beneficiary of microaggressions that turn into passive aggression until they turn into full-fledged aggression. Maybe she tells you how to fold the laundry properly or often comes out of the blue. Maybe she insisted that she be allowed into the delivery room when you have your baby, or asks you why you don`t put your partner`s food on the table at dinner. Maybe your mother-in-law is showing signs of jealousy about your marriage, or she`s starting to manipulate situations to put you in a bad light. Regardless, these behaviors tend to accumulate over time until they begin to affect your mental and emotional health and well-being. It`s no wonder so many people are looking for advice on how to deal with it. In fact, according to the latest available research data, the “toxic stepmother” is searched for nearly 3,000 times a month.
(Remember, you have the right to eliminate toxic behaviors and toxic people from your life, no matter who they are. Your mental health and well-being come first.) If you are looking for a therapist, consider working with a provider who has a good understanding of extended family dynamics. It can also be helpful to find someone who specializes in narcissism. Using an online therapist directory can simplify the process. 5. Children can, of course, be a great source of discord. Try to keep some perspective. Samuel Johnson wrote, “Any severity that does not tend to exalt good or prevent evil is vain.” In keeping with this philosophy, I decided, “If it`s not really harmful, I`ll let others take care of my daughters in their own way.” A friend of mine – the wooden educational toy, the parents` TV-free style – was furious when her mother-in-law bought her daughter a “My Little Pony” pony.
They had a huge discussion about it. Do you really want to have this fight? To help her maintain her inner energies and mental strength, it is important to know how she can help her. Take them to a life coach, spiritual healer, or sign them up for a meditation class. Don`t force them, motivate them to try. This can help him better connect with his emotions and reduce stress,” says Naresh, who is also founder of Zyropathy. Interacting with an arrogant mother-in-law can be exhausting, stressful and irritating. Your presence can contribute to relationship difficulties with your spouse or children, and even lead to a decrease in self-esteem. They may begin to meet their extreme expectations or pursue absolute isolation to appease them. The host said it was really the son`s job to deal with all the problems his wife had with her NDE, as it would resolve much of the tension between everyone. Sometimes moving with your in-laws is the only option you and your spouse have right now. Maybe you and your spouse are struggling financially and your mother-in-law has offered to help. Or maybe your aging mother-in-law needs more support and supervision, so living with you is the best choice for her well-being.
Whatever the reasons, life with a mother-in-law can be difficult. Learn to live together in relative harmony by creating boundaries, developing a good-natured relationship with her and protecting your marriage. It might be tempting to reciprocate the abuse of your in-laws. However, it is healthy to practice behaviors that maintain your self-esteem level. Write down actions you want to avoid, such as insulting her, slamming her, or arguing with her. Also avoid talking negatively about your children. Also, try to make a plan for yourself when the urge to be cruel strikes. For example, take a deep breath and reassess the situation.
You may not be able to change your mother-in-law`s behavior. Sometimes the best thing you can do to ease tensions is to amplify all signs of progress on their behalf.
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